Weekly Weigh in and updates

I worked really hard this week to get my body into weight loss mode. It was surprisingly easy. I usually shop every 2 weeks on Thursday but I opted to break it up into weeks this time so I could see if that would help me keep fresh produce in the house. It also kept me from loading up on snacky items I didn't need. I reached for the fruit and veggies instead of a ramen or something else I would normally eat.

Some of the things I have been eating lately are:
-turkey wrap on whole wheat tortilla
-reduced fat triscuits with a light laughing cow (aldi brand) cheese wedge
-carrot, celery, and cucumber slices with veggie dip
-Light English muffin breakfast sandwiches (I make ahead and freeze them for easy breakfasts)
-Light Zuppa Toscana
-Lean Gourmet Creamy Rigatoni with Broccoli.
-Lean Pockets Pretzel Crust Jalapeno Chicken (yum)
 -Great value Mountain trail mix. ( I grab a few of these often because I get low blood sugar and need to have protein. )

I know how to lose weight. I know what foods to eat. I am not one of those people who says "I don't know why I'm not losing weight, wah wah wah" If you eat bad, you don't lose weight. For me, it is more of a control thing, you know what you SHOULD do, but what you WANT to do are two different things sometimes.

I have started counting calories with my fitness pal vs. weight watchers this week. I will write a review of what I think after I get a feel of doing calories for a while .

I did Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown 3x this week. If you have read my blog for a while you know I have been doing this off and on for years. I love it. I HATE to exercise. As in, despise. I am not an athletic person. I didn't do atheltics in high school. I was just a petite person (my whole family is) and never worried about it. So for me to actually enjoy a workout, it is HUGE in my book. It is not huge on cardio, but you are sweating by the end of it, and it really helps your love handles, butt, thighs, and arms! What more can you ask for??

This is a side-by-side of when I started weight watchers to recently. I have taken time off, and realized that I was spiraling out of control and had to get back on track.

It is so easy to say "oh I'm not on ww anymore I can get whatever I want x2!" And then you wake up feeling bloated, tired, hungry and cranky craving sugar and fattening foods. I am such a food person. I love food. I love going out to dinner. I love me some Generals chicken, some Pizza Hut, and some Olive Garden Alfredo. So for me to cut out all those things in my life it is a BIG challenge and one that makes me proud. I am not fortunate to eat whatever I want and not gain weight like I may have been able to do in my younger. If you can do that, I envy you. My hopes for the future and my life is that I can get to a point where I can find balance between eating healthy things and having things I really enjoy without feeling guilty, and without gaining.

This was me in high school. (on the right) I was skinny, and I ate out EVERY day for open lunch. I also worked in a pizza place, and so I would eat pizza, or other fast food 2-4 times a week for dinner. I never gained, I was in a size 5-7 and I didn't even worry about my weight. My mom has been skinny as long as I can remember, my grandma is as long as I can remember, and my aunts/uncles as long as I can remember. I would say me being as big as I was is an exception in my family, which made me wonder why it was happening. I guess I was in denial about the fact that if you eat that way and don't exercise, it will catch up with you one day.  You can read more about that here.




I am down 17 pounds since starting, and my goal is within 2 weeks to be at a total loss of 20, and work out 3x a week. I don't want to get overwhelmed and lose motivation, But I also want to work on toning.

3 weeks of ups and downs

This past few weeks has been tough food wise. I will be the first to admit that I have not been all in. I have been on the fence about this weight loss thing, and if I was ready to commit. I would do pretty good during the day and then just let all the progress go out the window in the evenings.

Derek doesn't think I "need" to lose weight and doesn't really understand how disciplined you have to be in order to get those results. So that makes it difficult when he is home not to "sabotage" me! LOL! I had a talk with him about what I need from him and I think he gets it a little better now. It is very important to have people around that support you. Instagram (megancorral669) has been a huge support for me, and I am so thankful for that. You can click through and see so man women and men who have started at much higher weights than I did, and worked their ass off to get healthy. It is very inspiring! These are not fitness models with 6 packs on pinterest that make you want to jump off a cliff because you will NEVER look like that even after listening to the motivational quote written over their photo. HA!

So I had a long mental discussion with myself and told myself that I was either in it or not. But I thought back to all the reasons why I decided to do this in the first place. I looked at photos of myself at 175 (15 pounds heavier) and then watched my photos show pounds and pounds lost, new clothing because the old are too big, and remembering the feelings that I had when I took each photo. That really helped me realize that I DO want this. I just have to fully commit.

So I have decided to cancel my subscription to weight watchers and use an app that I paid 1.99 for to count points, and for the time being I am counting points and logging my calories with myfitnesspal. I feel like with 5 months of weight watchers under my belt I understand points well enough to go on my own and use a "knock off " app to get the job done. Is it as user friendly ? NO. But it is 18.95 per month cheaper so we will make it work.

Back to weight watchers

Today I re-joined weight watchers online. It is what I KNOW will help me lose weight. In the 2 months that I have been off plan, I have gained back about 3-4 pounds, going back and fourth with them. I do NOT want to ruin all my hard work so I decided to grab the reins and get back on track. 

I thought that I could continue to at least maintain without weight watchers because honestly I felt really good where I was at. But in the back of my mind I knew that I wasn't finished. I knew I had to attack these last 15/20 lbs to get to my ultimate goal. And that is what I am going to do!

What really got me was going through and looking for spring/summer clothes on pinterest. All the cute colored short-shorts and tank tops. I remember how miserable last summer I was. I was almost 175 pounds. I was sweaty. I was bloated and my thighs would rub together and cause them to "chafe" if I was out shopping, running around etc. (TMI? Sorry!) I would try to wear shorts under my dresses so I wouldn't have this problem. It is embarrassing and not something I want to do again. 

I usually like to start buying a few months in advance for the new season, but then I had to sit there and think about what size I would be buying. I will NOT buy size 12 summer clothes. My goal is at least a 10. I was able to fit tightly into gap 10 jeans before, but now that I have gained a few pounds back that isn't happening. 

I am bloated, feeling just sluggish and truthfully not good about myself. I stopped drinking soda again last week. I wouldn't drink pop like I used to, but I would have Derek bring me one on his way home, etc. More than I was doing on weight watchers. Another bad habit I got into was having him bring home crunch bars for me with the pop. Total SUGAR ADDICTION going on. So that is my next focus. I also have been trying to retrain my body to not eat when I'm bored, just because I can, etc. Its tough. When you aren't "on a diet" you sort of get this feeling of entitlement for whatever it is, like "Oh, I can get a crunch bar no big deal." or "I don't need to use reduced fat cheese, I can go back to regular" when in reality that will only be a disaster. You have to take the tools you learned and CONTINUE to use them in your every day life or you WILL gain it back. DUH.

Fried everything...not a good idea...

 So here I am. 

Before it gets out of control. 

Before I lose too much momentum. 

Before I get discouraged and forget how far I have come already. 

Weigh in today was at 160.2 My weight at the end of weight watchers in December was 157.  I am confident that in the next week or two I will be back to that with just making the sugar, pop, and simple changes to the foods I eat.