Thursday, October 10, 2013

Weekly Weigh in: Week 5

This week I ate awful. I ate out more than once, I ate frozen pizza, I even had a POP yesterday (Sprite zero, no calories and no caffeine) It was a mess.

I had a migraine yesterday (that continued today) and I think it caused me to feel nauseous because I thought I had a stomach bug. I was feeling like I could hurl at any moment. UGH. Thankfully I drank this and ate some pepto and felt better! 

Normally I go to the grocery store every other Thursday which is the day my points week starts over. Well this time I didn't get to shop until Monday night, so that means a whole weekend of eating whatever I could find because I hadn't made it to the store to get what I needed for healthy eating.
Monday when I got home from shopping I prepped a bunch of food so I would not have an excuse to grab something healthy if I am hungry. My biggest snacking times are around 3-4 pm and again around 9 pm. I am working on the late night ones, but it is a tough one!!


 Rice Crispie treats, fiber one bars, and pre portioned trail mix. In the fridge I stocked carrots and celery, cheese sticks, baby bell cheese, hard boiled eggs, and turkey pepperoni's.

On Tuesday I went with my sister and nephew to McDonald's and I ordered what I normally used to get (2 cheeseburger meal) but with tea and not pop. I punched it in the tracker when I got home and SHEESH!!

That was awful! 16 for the cheeseburgers, and 13 for the fries. I even subconsciously ate the boys' left over chicken nuggets which were 5 points. YIKES. What a wake up call. I mean if you eat out once, twice, or three times a week fast food, no wonder you are becoming obese! That is more than I should have in a whole day. And i didn't even get a big pop to go with it like I usually would have.

In spite of my eating habits this week, I hit a major milestone in my weight watchers journey. I lost 10 pounds!! That is 5% of my starting weight.

I am so proud of myself. This is the longest I have stuck with any weight loss plan in YEARS. Honestly I think it is because I am actually seeing results, but with still being able to eat out and have the things I want every now and then. Because after all that is what life is all about .

Well, I must be doing something right because I am losing weight like crazy. I am not complaining about that at all! I have good days and bad days but I am determined to keep going and lose this weight. It is good affirmation to see the scale drop, and it keeps me motivated that what I am doing is working.

My goals this week are to start exercising 3 times a week, and to drink more water. I have been drinking a lot of tea, and I need to  focus more on water.
I am also going to try not to blow all my weekly points at the beginning of the week by eating out, and save them to have little by little throughout the week (we will see how that goes! HA!)

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Week 3 Weigh in: New scale

This week was TOUGH. Just as I had anticipated it would be. I had a wedding on Saturday and was not able to eat very well, Sunday we had a child's birthday party where hot dogs and cake here served.
 I didn't eat the green beans and tried one potatoe (yuck) but the chicken with that sauce (whatever it is) was good and I at that shit up. I hadn't eaten a thing all day and was walking around with a camera attached to my neck. (oh yea, I am a photographer.)
I did my best to limit what I ate, but I also don't want to go out and feel like I CAN'T eat something. That is not what I am going for. I know if I do that I will surely fail when I start to feel like I am deprived.

So last week, week 3, I lost .9 lbs. I had to buy a new scale because my scale is on the side of the toilet and between the toilet and the bathtub and apparently my kids love to splash and completely soaked the inside of my beloved scale. I loved that thing! It was a health o meter with body fat percentage, 4 programmable different people and goal weights and it saves your past weight. It is unfortunately not made anymore so I had to set out to bed bath and beyond to get a new one. I knew I didn't want to spend a ton of money, but I didn't want to get a crappy one either, I need accuracy, to a woman on weight watchers, every .2 of a pound counts!


So I read reviews online while at work, and they were all horrible for each and every scale I looked at. Wal-mart, target, bed bath and beyond, you name it. So I just thought I would go there and wing it. Well, I end up standing there for about 20 minutes and an associate comes to help and I pick out one. I asked the customer service woman if that model was returned a lot and she said honestly they all are. But with the bed bath and beyond return policy you can return it basically at any time for any reason with no hassle. I like that! Plus I had a 20% off mobile coupon so it made it like $26. So far I like it. It is simpler than my previous one but that's ok. I do miss the fact that it remembered my last weigh in though.


The biggest accomplishment that occurred this week is I went down a whole pant size! I am beyond happy about this. It has been a LOOOOONG time since I have had to buy down a size and not up a size, so it is for sure some good motivation and reassurance that I am doing something right and that I am making progress.

 Goodwill for the win!

Some of the foods I have been coking lately include:
Fiesta Chicken Casserole. I lightened up the original recipe from plain chicken by adding low fat cream of chicken, reduced fat cheese, skim milk, brown rice, and baked tostitios tortilla chips. 3 pts per serving and AMAZING in my opinion.

 Some of the things I bring to work with me. I like to have variety. canelope, grapes, apple, pretzel crisps, fiber one bars, rice crispie treats, whole wheat crackers and laughing cow cheese, things like that, that don't break my points bank.

These are Mozzerella sticks from Skinny taste. they are 2 pt for 2 of these (they are one cheese stick cut in half) and delicious.

Thursday is my weigh in day (maybe one of these weeks I will blog on actual weigh in day!) and then we had family in town so we not only went to lunch but dinner with them. Lunch went well, we went to Mcalister's deli and I ordered broccoli cheese soup and a kids meal sized turkey and cheese sandwich. I think It was like 7 pts total. But they always like to eat at buffetts for dinner, and that got me. I did good until I went back for my second plate. Old habits really do die hard. It is a process, not something you can change overnight, that is for sure!


I used up almost all of my weekly points in one day, but I am determined to steer myself back in the right direction. Last week I used almost all my weekly points and I was still able to lose almost a whole pound, so we will see. I will just keep carrying on and doing what I am doing. Sunday we are going to visit more of Derek's family and so I will make sure to pack myself food because I can't afford to get off track for another day!


Here are my first comparison pics.


3 weeks, 6 pounds, and one pant size later. Definitely fell less bloated and have more energy.

I haven't had fast food or a soda in over 3 weeks (one of my major vices). I am so proud of my progress and will just keep going till I reach my goal!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Hello, I'm Megan and I'm a habitual dieter...

I am a habitual dieter. I have been in this cycle of diets and binging since I had Dane is 2009. When he was born, I was SO not used to my new mommy body. Don't get me wrong, I was skinny (skinnier than I am no at least) but I was so insecure about my stomach mostly. My loose skin and stretch marks killed my self esteem. I was young and just got married. I didn't want to be insecure. I tried Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, the gym, crunches, yoga you name it. My weight didn't move much at all. I got pregnant with Knox, and then nursed him for 6 months. I got SKINNY then. I was 122 at my skinniest with nursing him. I wasn't trying super hard, but I was exercising and my body was craving fresh fruits and veggies and honestly with a nursing baby you don't get to get out much and go out to dinners/etc so I wasn't eating out as much as I used to. 

Anyway,  go through these cycles where I diet for a few weeks, go hard at it, lose weight (anywhere between 3-8 or 9 lbs) and then fall off the wagon and never get back up. Then I end up just gaining more and more weight.  I have done this countless times. I feel so good when I finally get to eat "normally" again and decided to quit a diet. My hubby is not overweight, and never has been. He is 200 lbs at 6 ft tall. He is normal size and weight. He can work out for 2 weeks and lose 10 lbs and his body is cut. He is just athletic. So he doesn't always understand the trials and struggles us people who don't have it that easy have to go through.
Not that I am blaming him in any way, I just stupidly always agreed wit him when he would tell me that I didn't need to diet just make better choices. Well we all know I am not making better choices, I'm making worse ones! 

Well this is the end of that. I may never get back to 137 (my weight when I found out I was pregnant with Knox. Pretty much my normal weight, I have been 135-137 and have struggled to go lower) I may never been 120 again. I may never been 140 even. I don't really care. At this point for me, in this journey, I am just trying to push through and create the groundwork for good habits. I am trying to lose weight, but I don't have a specific number in mind. I am not going to stress out over the weight loss and give up if it isn't the unrealistic goal I had in my head. I am going to do this slow and steady. 

Today I had a small victory. I went to town and had to go to the store, so I decided to get the kids McDonald's. They haven't had any kind of fast/eating out food in a while. I thought the whole way from my house to the store to  McDonald's about quitting this diet. I thought about if I wanted to give up and get something from the drive thru and order a big pop to go with it. I seriously contemplated is for what seemed like forever. I knew that the answer SHOULD be. I also knew my fat self, and I knew what I wanted to do. I thought about how I would feel if I did it, how I would feel to quit. I thought if I am not ready now, if being THIS overweight isn't going to do anything for me, then what on earth is it going to take to make me get it?! And so I decided to skip it and go home and make myself a ww friendly lunch. It is a small victory but it is also a big one.

I told my husband that this week would be a tough one for me and I would need a lot of support. This is normally the time that I would give up and begin the cycle over again. Well I am breaking that cycle. I am finished doing that. One of the many reasons why I love weight watchers. You don't feel deprived, if you want to eat something EAT it. If you don't, don't. You are your own boss. 


Monday, September 16, 2013

Weekly Weigh in: Week one

Thursday was my first weekly weigh in. I lost 3 lbs! 

I know it is a small feat, I know it is only the beginning but I have to say I am pretty proud of these 3 pounds. It is a symbol that I can do whatever I work at. I can do this, but I have to earn it. It isn't going to come for free. 

Here are some of the things that I have been eating:

 Jalapeno Popper Chicken (5p+)
Skinny Chicken Parmesan (9p+)

Cheesy Chicken Stuffed Shells ( 6p+ per 3 shells)

 I wanted to have a drink but not something that would cost a lot of points. i took about 5 drinks of this and it is nasty. tastes like a watered down drink you left your ice in and tried to choke it down. Yuck. Not worth it even if it's skinny, and at $14 a small bottle, a little pricy for me.
 Tuna Casserole (5p+)
 Fiesta Chicken Casserole (8p+) 

 I have been snacking on things like Fiber one 90 calorie bars, Snack Factory Pretzel Thins

Fruits like watermelon, apple, cantaloupe, banana, etc, Celery, Carrots, 100 calorie bags of popcorn. cheese quesedillas with a whole wheat tortilla.Quaker quakes, or a bowl of honey nut cheerios.


These are gap size 14 jeans that are usually my go to jeans for work. They were falling off of me the whole night last week when I wore them. All my 14's now are the same way. I am not sure if I should bother to buy more or just live in leggings since fall is right around the corner! We shall see what goodwill has to offer I guess. 


I know I have been a little more lenient with what I have been eating this week and so I am not going to expect another 3 pound loss. Last week I didn't eat any of my Weekly Point,s and this week I have went through almost half of them. And that is ok. I am not looking to do this fast I am looking to change my old habits into new healthier ones and lose weight the healthy way. 


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Reasons I have failed at diets in the past

I have been on many diets since I have had the boys. If you have followed The Corral Connection then you have read about various tries in the past. I have never been able to stick with any "diet" for more than about 3 weeks. I go hard the first week or two and then start to feel deprived and end up giving up. Here are some of the reasons I believe I have failed at dieting in the past:

Lack of willpower:
I don't have a lot of self control and if people around me are eating bad I feel like I want to do it too. Even if I know I am not supposed to eat it on my diet or I know that it is so bad for me. 

Lack of Motivation: 
I have always wanted to lose weight. Every time I have tried obviously that was the driving force, but If I would get on the scale in the morning and not see it move at all, then I would be discouraged the whole day and most of the time end up eating something I shouldn't have because I felt like that I was doing wasn't working anyway. 

The right mindset: 
I was in more of a race to see how much weight I could lose ASAP and not realizing that it is a gradual process. I wanted to lose the weight, NOW not wait months for it to happen. The reality is that is a very unrealistic expectation. 

Lack of Support: 

I have an amazing husband who supports me in EVERYTHING I do. I am lucky in that. But when it comes to dieting he knows it is a touchy subject. He never ever says anything negative to me about my weight and so it is hard to get any sort of "support" from him on dieting because I think he is scared if he says the wrong thing he will offend me so he just tells me to do what I want to do and doesn't give much input. He tells me he would love me at any weight no matter what, which is sweet, but it is also a cop out for me to say "oh well, my husband doesn't care that I'm overweight...may as well give up!" 

Lack of knowledge: 
I feel like in the world of weight loss there are a lot of questions. You want to make sure you are eating enough to sustain yourself without eating too much that you don't lose weight. Do you eat back your calories from exercise? Do you count calories or fat? How many carbs should I eat and what time of day? Clean eating...whole other story with lots more to it. There is so much and it can be overwhelming and scary and sometimes would make me want to turn around and run away. 

Good 'ol fashioned denial:
I think part of me was in denial about how bad it really was. I would feel bad about myself but I think I just didn't want to believe that being a little overweight was THAT bad. I remember once just saying screw it, I'm just going to buy bigger clothes that cover myself better and get over it! The WRONG way to deal with it. 

Why I think I will succeed this time? Why is this time any different? I feel like I have gotten to a point where I have realized I don't want to go back. I am in a size 14/16 depending on brands, and a size xl-plus or plus size 1x depending on brand. I am right on the cusp of being PLUS sized and that scares me. Before I always felt like "oh I'm not there yet, when it get there I will worry about it". Well I'm there now, and I don't want to be.

I understand that it isn't going to happen overnight.I am not going to obsess about every meal, and talk about it all the time. I am not going to let weight loss rule my life or my thoughts. It is very tough to do this but it is what is going to be key for me. I will have to find a balance between living life and weight loss. 

I will not get discouraged it I have a cheat meal, don't work out, or don't see the scale move. I will understand that this is a journey not a sprint. Weight watchers tells you to understand that weight watchers isn't a diet it is a lifestyle change. Don't treat weight watchers like a diet and you will be more successful. I am going to aim for that.



Friday, September 6, 2013

Weight Watchers

I have tried millions of do-it-myself diets and shortly after crashing and burning because I have no motivation/accountability/lazy/missing fat girl foods/ so many reasons. I decided to take the plunge and sign up for 4 months of weight watchers online. I came to this decision after starting a new job at a tanning salon, which is a pretty superficial place to work. Don't get me wrong, everyone who works there and goes there is SUPER nice, it just forced me to take a look at myself (as I have done many times before) and really realize that I need to take charge of my weight. I want to be the person that I used to be. I want to be the person I am inside on the outside.

I want to say that I don't know how it got to this point but I would be lying. I have never been an athletic type ( I have big boobs, OK!) But I have always been relatively slim. I have always had curves, bit boobs and decent butt. I used to be able to eat anything (and I mean anything) and never gain weight. I worked at a pizza place in high school, and ate out almost every single day for our open lunch, as well as when I worked at night 3x a week. I never even thought about it. 
me in the day of my senior prom. 2005

I met Derek and when I was 19 and was about 125 or so. I had always been between 115-120. We dated for few months and I started to put on weight. I was drinking a lot more, eating poorly and I guess that was catching up with me. Call it the freshman 15 I didn't gain when I was a freshman. 
I began working out and dieting and I lost those 8 lbs and I felt like I had conquered the world. I had a great routine where I would go to the gym, go to class, scheduled my meals, tracked my food, all that jazz. After losing that weight, I stopped working out and all that and ended up gaining about 15-20 lbs until I found out I was pregnant with Dane. I was 144 when I got pregnant and remember thinking how fat I was. I was in size 30 BKE's and I hated that. 
The night before we found out I was pregnant. 144

After having Dane I was so insecure with my body. I hated my new stretch marks. I hated my stomach and how no matter what exercise I tried it was still just hanging there. I felt like I was so young (22) and I should not have to look like this. I was still slim though at about 135 ish lbs. 

I got pregnant with Knox at 137. With both the boys I gained between 20-25 lbs. I was 156 I think when I went in to have Knox. I nursed Knox for 6 months and for some strange reason craved fresh fruit and veggies and just good food during that time. I worked out a little while nursing but not much. I broke my foot during that time as well. I was at my skinniest at 122 and was in size 4 jeans. I was too thin. I didn't even try to be that skinny with nursing and eating right the weight just dropped off. I was a lucky one. 

After quitting nursing, I started to pack on the pounds. Ever since I was in the hospital with Knox I was put on antidepressants (celexa) to deal with my anxiety attacks. I never thought anything of it until after I quit nursing the pounds starting piling on. I looked online and found that lots of people were also having this problem with celexa. I continued on it because I needed it so badly. Anxiety is no joke and if you don't have it you have no idea how debilitating it can be. Anyway, I remember saying " oh as long as I don't get past 140 I am ok with that. 140 and I will have to do something about it" Well 140 came and went and I didn't do anything about it. I remember feeling bad about myself but still not having the motivation to do anything about it. I got to 150-155 and I was at a point where I stopped caring. I still felt really bad about myself but I wasn't at a point where I felt like I was FAT.
 I tried a few times to diet but never made it past a couple of weeks without slipping back into my old ways. I got off Celexa and thought that the weight would start to come off . It didn't. The last 20 lbs took a while to put on. Maybe the course of a year. I am currently at 174 and in a size 14. It kills me to realize that. I don't understand how I could mentally dismiss all the signs that I was on a bad path. All the times I could have made better choices but didn't. All the times I knew I needed to get off my ass but I didn't.

So here is to the past, you can't change it but you sure can control your future.